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By following these simple and easy to follow guide you too can form your own nu-metal band, musical proficiency not needed. 1) You must cover an 1980s novelty song for your debut release. This is not an option 2) You need a gimmick. This is essentially important for the vocalist (they’re not singers) be it bullied at school, self-mutilation, playing the bagpipes or spooky appearance. 3) Recruit a female bassist. This will lead to initial magazine exposure before the critics notice you can’t actually play. By this time you will have built up a hardcore following of teenage boys. 4) Write some songs. About 12 will fill up an album. Don’t worry about B-Sides, use crap remixes instead. 5) Incorporate a trendy DJ member into the band for that 21st Century feel. 6) Claim to be “down” with your fans. Express your thoughts on topics you have no idea about such as the elections and rage how much Britney Spears sucks. Never speak up about anything important. 7) Recruit lots of band members. About eight or nine is about right. Having three members is so passe nowadays. 8) Request famed nu-metal produced Ross Robinson to produce your debut. He will declare it to be most intense, pissed-off music ever released. Until the next one. 9) Claim Black Sabbath are your favourite band. Even if you’ve never heard of them, it’s just cool to declare the Brummies as ‘gods’. 10) Get the music press to compare your band to the Deftones and2