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please forgive me

just had a most interesting night.

first of all, i’m reading requiem by curtis white for the installation, which is a very disturbing yet thought-provoking book. also (and not at all related to reading requiem), I was having suicidal thoughts this afternoon and early evening. that’s not the thing I would normally share. but that’s just by way of context.

tonight I went to the denison witmer show at common grounds. beautiful was the only word that came to mind to describe it. definately shoe-gazing music. not exactly uplifting. but beautiful. inspired me to write more beatiful songs about trips to swimming holes, friends, and …well, feelings. it was a great vibe at CG.

I was really torn, because also tonight was chuck prophet at another club within walking distance of our apartment, IOTA. two awesome shows within walking distance! I know of chuck through ryan adams; I have some ryan adams mp3’s with chuck on them. I chose denison because I wasn’t up for a bar scene, and I don’t regret it. but in the end I didn’t have to settle so much.

on my way back from CG, walking right by IOTA, I stepped inside to see if he was still playing (this is around midnight). he was. only thing was I had exactly $0.00 cash. the denison cover had cleaned me out. but the doorman let me in w/o paying the cover!! how cool was that? I caught about an hour of what I would without hesitation rate as one of the top 5 shows i’ve ever been to. he is an amazing performer. listen to me: if you ever get the chance to see this guy live, do it! i’m hoping he comes back through town soon.

amazing. and the cool thing was, by the end of this old skinny dirty white guy’s loud raunchy set, I was happy again. I was clear again. I wasn’t going to kill myself.

now I just wished i’d held off last night on buying those two mallonee disks because pastemusic.com also has denison and chuck for sale on their site. oh well…just a little more shipping is all I guess…

survivin’. dm.