couple more top presents:
i’ve been thinking again about the truth. why we can’t just admit to it. i said to a friend the other day, “if i’m doing something i’m ashamed of, i stop doing it, and then i can admit to it.” especially once the truth is already ‘out there’ …why is it so hard to just admit the truth? why are we so proud? why are we ashamed? we don’t have to justify our behavior, we just have to admit that we’re all fuck ups. and it’s ok. it’s ok as long as we admit it about ourselves.
got a glimpse the other day into the immorality going on in the leadership of the biggest church in south florida.
funny, i hate moralism and immorality both.
i don’t even believe in moral black and whites, but i sure as fuck know when what you are doing is hurting someone i love. and i love humans. i love humanity.
so last night while i was at the Dada open mic, i had the passenger-side window of my car smashed to little tiny bits and my backpack taken out of me car. at first i had forgotten that my backpack was in my car at all…it took another half hour to remember that (during which time i was like WTF? they didn’t take anything?!). then it took another hour after that to remember that my passport was in that backpack. then it took about .1 seconds after that to remember that i’m leaving for London in, like, 9 days.
and before anyone else tells me how it’s not a good idea (read: stupid) to leave your backpack on the passenger seat of your shiny car while a hop-skip away from the ghetto, just realize that my response to you, ms/mr/mrs #4 today, will be, “Fuck you.”
so today i’m two bills lighter for a new window. tomorrow i will be another two bills lighter for a new passport, expedited. other than that, the contents of the backpack included my favorite watch, my wifi card, my planner, my notebook, and a folder with some old receipts and misc crap which i hope they just threw out because they couldn’t possibly profit from knowing the results of my recent STD tests. in my planner, behind some frequent flyer cards, was a bank card, which they tried to use that evening, but i had never activated it, so it didn’t work. nany-nany-poo-poo you motherfuckers.
for a while i thought all the divorce papers were in there too, which would have been funny-funny, but they weren’t. i still have them. woot.
so today i changed all my passwords and shit, just in case.
i find it interesting that not only, by necessity, do i have a new pad, new car, (old job), very much an old-new life, but now i even have new forms of identification…a while back somebody lost my drivers license, and now somebody stole my passport. not appreciative of the hassle and expense of the replacements, but it is kind of apt.
meanwhile, fuck you all you selfish people, every last one of you.
and lovers, let’s help get each other through this shit. something else awaits us on the other side, and it’s gonna be good.
or it darn well better be.