Buffy Shmuffy!

now this is a vampire thing i can get into!

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from marcus132:

Their website describes the show thusly:

BITE is an erotic and sensual topless review based on deliciously evil vampires with a simple story line of sin, sex and seduction. The show centers around the Lord Vampire and his search for the perfect female specimen that he will seduce and make the queen of the night. Aiding the Lord is his coven of sultry and nimble dancers, the Erotic Angels of Rock. Their story will be told through the classic rock songs of the 1970’s, 1980’s and 1990’s. Throughout the show, audience members will be chosen to become part of the erotic adventure.

Vampires? Classic rock? Topless? To paraphrase Dr. Alan Grant, no force on Earth or in Heaven could keep me from seeing this show. By Monday afternoon I was in Las Vegas with a mai-tai in one hand and a Bite ticket in the other.

After seeing Bite, I think there’s only one way that it can possibly be described: If you were to watch every single live performance that has been staged in any venue throughout history, from the Greek amphitheaters all the way up to today’s Broadway, you would not see a single show better than Bite.

Judging by the show’s online synopsis, I had expected it to be a thinly scripted cheeseball melodrama wherein the “Lord Vampire” searches for a bride amongst the “innocent” young virgins of the village below, but is ultimately thwarted by the daylight and a stacked blond in little more than a Van Helsing style trench coat. My prediction couldn’t have been more inaccurate. The show was nowhere near as narrative as all that. I’ve seen Whitesnake videos with deeper plotlines than Bite.

Essentially the entire show is one continuous, hour long, tightly choreographed topless dance punctuated with trapeze acrobatics, pyrotechnic stage effects, and crappy magic tricks. To put it another way, it’s Spiderman Rocks if you took out the Green Goblin and replaced him with undead girl on girl simulated sex acts. Or to put it another way, it was the most awesome thing I’ve ever seen, ever.

The show begins with a voice over from the Lord Vampire himself, admonishing against photography, smoking, and the like. He mentions that during the show, his vampire women may touch you, but you may not touch them, and if you do, the penalty is death. By about halfway through the show, this seemed to me like a pretty even trade.

With the formalities out of the way, the lights go down, the theatrical smoke flows in from all sides, and six scantily clad vampire vixens explode onto the stage to the deafening strains of “Welcome to the Jungle.” The show has no ramp-up time whatsoever. It feels like somebody tapping you on the shoulder, and then when you turn around, they throw a tall cold bucket of totally awesome in your face.

[2]: http://www.stratospherehotel.com/images/entertainment/gallery/bite_g004.jpg

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