and u have some catching up to do. ha ha. 8603443daniel millerFriday, January 11, 2002publishsorry haven't been able to publish from blogger. if you're reading this then it was fixed. 8603436daniel millerpublisha note on our life had a really stressful week dealing with my one day job i'm a contractor for my old tech company, you know. that way i cost a lot less, and i'm an expense for them. but i get more time to do other things and only had to sell my house.... but you need more context.... last may i drempt that i lost my job. in august i lost my job. last october i drempt that the company went under and i was hosed with a ton of unpaid invoices and expenses from my consulting contract. i normally wouldn't give that much creedence to things. but the two dreams occurred in the same exact place. and that place was Bratislava. same apartment, same bed. same weather (almost). if the second one turns out to be also prophetic, then there's a lesson to be learned: don't dream in Bratislava. but seriously, here's our deal. so far since we started the "i think I'll be an artist" thing last August: we've sold one picture for 150usd we have one more on hold 50usd now 100 more lata we were paid 20usd for a photo shoot we received a donation for 500usd we've applied for one grant and have a couple more possibilities. this is the best thing going, except between the research to find the grant and the time to apply so that you might possibly, possibly be considered (competition for all these is stiff) (lengthy), there's just not enough time in the day left to also work for real money and still be creative. so somethings die. we sold the house so we have a big tax bill coming up. wish the government understood that we are going through a major lifestyle change and need that money to live off of for a while. but they don't. so we have to give them large portions of it. and because of a family business thing that i'm really not involved with and get just a little cash out of every so often (not enough to live or certainly not count on), next year we will be pushed up a few tax brackets even though we've sortof committed to never being in anything but the lowest. hmmm. well maybe it will all work out for the best. just hope i'm not doing this contracting gig in vain ok? pray maybe too? thanks, fearfully yours, daniel 8603338daniel millerpublishhmmmm.... had to write... i went on a bicycle ride the other day. then yesterday, because my bum hurt so much from the bicycle ride, I went running instead. on the same road. A1A. it's the only place where there is only a 90% chance of getting killed by motorists. crazy. i would love to get back to a place where i could enjoy bicycling for what i love it for. i realized watching <a href="http://www.angelfire.com/realm/cvccbikers/misc/breaking_away.html">Breaking Away</a> (which I of course own) that the part i love about cycling is the freedom, just like the scene where he's riding no-hands (those who know my no-hands crash and get sued story shut up) through the forest, no cars, no people, just a man and his bike and nature. that's what's great about cycling. like in Quicksilver, another great cycling movie that I don't own (sorry Kevin Bacon), when he says "when it says one way east, i go west." that's what's great. that is the sublime. that is the spiritual. that was my church for 7plus years. then i thought i'd make a career out of it and that ruined it. anyway, i'm having this thought yesterday while running. i hate running. ha ha. actually i did have that thought but i had another one too. the problem down here in sofla is simply one of haves and have-nots. not in the normal sense though. more in the sense haves-$500,000,000 and have-nots-$500,000,000. that sense that you need to achieve more more more which means earn more more more which means have more more more is totally ingrained in almost every American psychie. but thow in multi-million dollar houses and lifestyles all up and down the beach and the intracoastal and the stress becomes a bit much for the Average Striving Joe. so the ASJ takes it out on things and people. takes it out on his gas pedal. takes it out on the cyclist enjoying an unusually cool day on A1A. until it becomes second nature. and we're all just taking it out on one another. we don't mean to be mean and hateful. it just comes naturally after years of being reminded that you haven't yet made enough. oh yeah, you'll also very naturally go into debt for the bigger house and the luxury SUV. 8602955daniel millerpublish<a href="http://www.deviantart.com/">deviantART : where ART meets application :: oderint dum metuant</a> 8569346daniel millerThursday, January 10, 2002publish<a href="http://habbo.com/">Habbo Hotel - Home Page</a> Next time you want to chat just email me to meet here. 8485828daniel millerMonday, January 07, 2002publish<a href="http://www.geocaching.com/">Geocaching - The Official Global GPS Cache Hunt Site</a> 8484168daniel millerpublish Never give out your password or credit card number in an instant message conversation. follow the arrows says: just watched moulin rouge Dr Melphi says: finally Dr Melphi says: and.... follow the arrows says: i liked it Dr Melphi says: ----- here now Dr Melphi says: I tried all week to get in touch with dustin, but to no avail. he has some things on hold in the store, so i'm sure i'll see him soon follow the arrows says: ok no prob follow the arrows says: i had forgotten and was in a general funk today anyway follow the arrows says: got my one site to work in NS though Dr Melphi says: why the funk? follow the arrows says: don't know; just 1 o those days Dr Melphi says: i'm in a funk this whole month. i've gone days without smiling lately follow the arrows says: what? follow the arrows says: that's not good Dr Melphi says: not like me, but i feel slightly depressed Dr Melphi says: and i'm not exactly sure why either follow the arrows says: me neither Dr Melphi says: strange things we humans are huh? Dr Melphi says: fragile follow the arrows says: http://dealingwith.blogspot.com Dr Melphi says: the white stripes and the mouldy peaches--further proof that the music buying public are a bunch of arsholes Dr Melphi says: ha follow the arrows says: Dr Melphi says: i was thinking about blogging as a journal after i was reading yours, but then i realized that i really don't want everyone to read that Dr Melphi says: braver than me you are follow the arrows says: yes yoda Dr Melphi says: read that line like yoda and it's funny follow the arrows says: Dr Melphi says: thinking together we are follow the arrows says: did you get to 'daniel fucking karma miller' then? Dr Melphi says: that wa a while ago follow the arrows says: anyway, that's why you'll never see one of my big email updates go "and you can check out my blog here"...oh yeah you've been keeping up? follow the arrows says: fucking hate these cheesy emoticons! follow the arrows says: what arsehole at MS thought them up?! Dr Melphi says: what kind of stupid world do we live in where we use a stupid fuckin worl like "emoticons". Dr Melphi says: we are going to hell Dr Melphi says: all of us follow the arrows says: yes. follow the arrows says: i bet they don't even have eco domani and brie there either follow the arrows says: arseholes follow the arrows says: did you listen to those mp3's i sentcha? Dr Melphi says: g'night, ----- beckons. another thing to add to the pile Dr Melphi says: arghh Dr Melphi says: stupid emoticons follow the arrows says: isurfisurfisurfisurfisurfisurfisurfisurfisurfisurfisurfisurfisurfisurfisurfisurfisurfisurf Dr Melphi says: g'night follow the arrows says: 'nite 8472646daniel millerSunday, January 06, 2002publishtoday i had the thought that the world IS going to hell, and i'm ok with that i was just standing there, pumping gas, and it occurred to me. i used to get a little freaked out about these feelings, this being connected to the collective conscience in a little too intimate way; then i made a little too big a deal about it, as if it were something sent by God or something, which, maybe it is, but that's still no reason to make a big deal about it; now i just roll with it, but i'm much more in tune with the reasons for these feelings. like today i just got this feeling that the world is a lost, lonely, self-destructing place, at least as long as we people exist on it in a technologically advanced manner. damn that wheel. that got this whole mess started. but i realized that i'm also just feeling that universal depression that people are feeling right now because it's after the holidays, the weather isn't great, it's kind of a lul in life right now. and that's ok. it doesn't mean that we're going to hell. it just means we live on earth. 8467795daniel millerpublish<a href="http://www.freshworship.org/zine/noise.html">www.freshworship.org - Home of Grace - fresh vital worship</a> noise is unwanted soundwhich is why your parents call the music you like noise but noise isn't just about sound it's about information noise is whatever drowns out or interferes with or conceals meaningful information 8458809daniel millerpublishthe white stripes and the mouldy peaches--further proof that the music buying public are a bunch of arsholes 8458631daniel millerpublishsometimes you just have to disconnect to do anything. i'm always plugged in. reading this. reading that. getting this. hearing about that. experiencing this. seeing that. what's the deal? did you hear? have you seen? didn't you know? ohmygosh! that is so cool! you've GOT to see it! you've GOT to read it! every day i could spend all day just looking at the stuff i've been sent or been told about or surfed to, or surfed to, or surfed to, or surfed to, or surfed to, or surfed to, or surfed to, or surfed to, or surfed to, or surfed to, or surfed to, or surfed to, or surfed to, or surfed to, or surfed to, or surfed to, or surfed to, or surfed to, it's no wonder no-one visits your site but that's ok cuz then i put whatever in this space this is my space and maybe someday, some sicko out there will really connect with it and start reading it. but i won't know. and that's cul. cuz i'm too busy or surfed to, or surfed to, or surfed to, or surfed to, or surfed to, or surfed to, or surfed to, or surfed to, or surfed to, or surfed to, or surfed to, or surfed to, or surfed to, or surfed to, or surfed to, or surfed to, or surfed to, or surfed to, or surfed to, or surfed to, or surfed to, or surfed to, 8458316daniel millerpublish