major.self.disclosure.moment Music is the area where i am absolutely the most insecure. I think that may be true with all musicians; but i'm just voicing it here. I self evaluate and critique more than anyone. I hate my own singing voice. I'm just basically super self conscious about music in general. Even drums, an instrument where i would rate myself at a professional level. Since we moved out of the house six months ago, i have been able to practice zero. No place to. So when CPM started up, and even now, i'm super rusty. Now CPM's music is no challenge drumming wise, mind you, so i don't have a problem kicking out the beats required by this music; but there is a definate lack of flow yet from behind the kit. I'm sure if this were the Dave Matthews Band, the flow would be back already; but i'm major sympathising (sp?) with Ringo Star over here--backbeat, backbeat, backbeat, and no place for anything else! Poor guy couldn't hear anything anyway, and besides, that music just doesn't call for anything more! :P So here I am trying to get some flow--read Dave Weckle, Carter Beauford, et. al.--back into my playing and i'm forced into Ringo-backbeat-backbeat-backbeat-Star. So me and Ringo. Yeah. 'Cept for being rich. Anyway, i'm still recovering from a CPM practice where the boys made fun of (i think?) one of my tunes... /major.self.discloure. 76962874daniel millerSaturday, May 25, 2002publishI guess that you could say that Rob was like porn, or any movies for that matter, or premanufactured pop music, or Prada shoe models, or anything else you might find in the important literature of our era: Rolling Stone, GQ, Spin, People, Premier, Vanity Fair, The Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition, Cosmo, Muscle & Fitness, Esquire, Entertainment Weekly, The Source, Q, O, Maxim, Vogue, Stuff, Harpers, Glamour, InStyle, Allure, Elle, Shape, Self, Teen, Seventeen, and Young Miss. That is, you wanted to be a part of it, even if it killed you. You would die trying. You had to. It was your dream, your drive, your reason for being. It was the only way you were ever going to be loved. Loved, that is, at least enough to counter balance your insecurities. 76962317daniel millerpublishChristian Porn Machine played its first gig last night. Lotsa fun, good set, really enjoyed hanging out with Seventeen and <a href="http://www.maypopmusic.com">Maypop</a>. Maypop's set was *really* good. Definately check out their tunes. Got the CD in the player right now, in fact. CPM is definately a love-hate relationship for me. So far I've gotten us our first gig--which actually paid i might add!--and now i'm going donate webspace, build a site, and contribute to the domain registration? Excuse me? And my bandmates have....yeah.... I can say all this here because neither of the other two guys read this. Scott does, and he's in the band, but I have a feeling he's "on my side"...not that sides can be taken...anyway... And I'm just the f*n drummer! This is essentially *their* project! They are both moving to Boston at the end of the summer to pursue this further. Who knows if that will work out for me. Probably not. And if they ever DO make something of it? Royalties? $$? Yeah. All them. No me. Not to mention i'm the only unemployed one in the band! Jeesh. Ok. No more griping from me. Last night was great. Can't wait to do it again. And Maypop invited us to play with them next Friday. 76962287daniel millerpublishmy archives broke again, so i republished all, so i just happened upon october, <a href="http://dealingwith.blogspot.com/archives/2001_10_01_dealingwith_archive.html#6253591">something cul</a>: "Still working on all the same stuff. Hate Mail has obsessed me, fulfilled me, and practically institutionalized me all in the same breath. Crazy...Lord, please be right about not worrying about tomorrow, about the birds having enough to eat, etc. I don't know if You noticed, but we're not birds. We sometimes think about being able to eat tomorrow." on another note, joined the blogger API listserve today, alot of info out there as I explore publishing my blog as XML, but I'll get thru it eventually... 76890440daniel millerThursday, May 23, 2002publishAgain, I apologize, this narrative is being presented out of order. We have misplaced some of the sections, and the following is actually from a section further along. -Ed. I guess you could say that Rob attracted the same kind of people as porn does; you know, blond, normally kind of low-grade ugly but made beautiful under the airbrush and your lust. People from small towns in the Midwest with big stars in their eyes but never the connections to make it happen. Transplanted people, far from what they were trained/brought up to understand as true reality, grasping at anything to pull them up to their dreams, to pull them out from their hell. Desperate people. Like me. 76886260daniel millerpublish<a href="http://exhibits.positive-negative.com/200203-tenderloft/"><img src="http://exhibits.positive-negative.com/200203-tenderloft/19-speck.jpg" border="0"> Exhibition at the Tenderloft / March 09, 2002</a> This guy is GOOD. Also check his site <a href="http://www.exitwound.com/xw/">exitwound</a> 76883406daniel millerpublish<a href="http://www.johnheronproject.btinternet.co.uk/">john heron project</a> Yes, yes, I know I've blogged this link twice already in the past, but it is so worth it! This site is the first I ever found doing daily serials--in fact, I got the term from them! Very, very cul site, hard to grasp at times; but try "treadsoftly"--the entire text is on the homepage right now. Good stuff. 76882894daniel millerpublish<a href="http://www.thehoneycomb.com/"><img src="http://www.thehoneycomb.com/images/hdrLogo.gif" border="0"> soon i'll get this link on the site perm.</a> 76880591daniel millerpublish<a href="http://www.fair.org/index.html">Fairness & Accuracy In Reporting: The National Media Watch Group</a> 76880468daniel millerpublish<a href="http://www.altarnet.net/">ALTARNET----your connection to generation Y</a> Yeah. My generation is awash in No Logo and Adbusters, so let's go ahead and start beating the next one upside the head with media and brands. 76879756daniel millerpublish...more important is the recognition that God is present and active in the whole human population, and that if the risen Christ is to be found anywhere it is among ordinary people. We need to relocate ourselves into the mainstream, instead of huddling off into a corner feeling smug about our own righteousness. I think the church as gathered group and fixed congregation is probably in its last stages. We are more likely to find dispersed groups of friends who celebrate their faith in small ways. why is that riddell is always worth repeated reads? <a href="http://www.osbd.org/article/13/">article</a> <a href="http://dealingwith.blogspot.com/archives/2002_04_01_dealingwith_archive.html#75964760">first post</a> 76864561daniel millerWednesday, May 22, 2002publish<a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2002/05/09/garden/09CHUR.html">Megachurches as Minitowns</a> The churches have even become alternative employers. At the Brentwood Baptist Church in Houston, a McDonald's will open this month, complete with a drive-in window and small golden arches. Part of its goal is to create jobs for young people and the elderly, while offering a predominantly middle-class black congregation another reason to linger on church grounds. ... Thanks Coop for this article, and please cross-reference with my article in the next Next-Wave....also <a href="http://dealingwith.blogspot.com/archives/2002_04_01_dealingwith_archive.html#75707473">here</a> 76864040daniel millerpublish<a href="http://theyblinked.blogspot.com/2002_05_19_theyblinked_archive.html#76847173">all good posts on theyblinked today, this one in particular</a> 76863694daniel millerpublishSorry, this entry ended up out of place, as the author's original is written on many small, loose pieces of paper. It's original place was before the last entry. -Ed. Rob and the Dancer is, as they say, a �mystery wrapped in an enigma.� It is an exquisite piece of creative genius, a technological marvel, and a piece of live entertainment never before seen. It is sure to have it�s imitators, but Rob was the first. Of course I�m playing the lead in it this evening, so I might be a little biased. Of course I�ve been put up in the nicest hotel in all of Manhattan and fed like a pig being stuffed for the slaughter, so I might be a little biased. Of course I�m sent beautiful women (or men, it depends on your interests) every night who know such depths of passion I�well� I might be a little biased. It happens. It still doesn�t change the fact that hundreds of people have paid thousands of dollars each to see the most famous (or infamous, it depends on your interests) play in history. 76862807daniel millerpublish<a href="http://www.zeta.org.au/~lorien/prodigal/parables/fineline.html">Andrew's Parables</a> <a href="http://www.zeta.org.au/~lorien/prodigal/parables/twoorthree.html">2</a> <a href="http://www.zeta.org.au/~lorien/prodigal/parables/ofthechurch.html">3</a> 76861159daniel millerpublishsorry <s>this Rob post is taking so long</s> update~filling some space above while the game propagates~. it'll be up in a few days. it's a process. but the content itself is done. i'll keep working on the content while i wait for the "navigation" to come through. i hope you all figure this one out! :) 76846388daniel millerpublish<a href="http://www.thestandard.com/article/0,1902,21398,00.html">Days of Latte and Roses</a> two words: espresso con panna 76843578daniel millerpublish<a href="http://www.gravattville.com/">gravattville.com</a> is live! check back soon for the full site 76840964daniel millerpublishwhen yer cul, you make Bank Gothic your menu font <img src="http://danielsjourney.com/images/menu.jpg"> 76840918daniel millerpublish<a href="http://www.danielsjourney.com/specs/djdc_v3/">buy!buy!buy!______________please?______________what if i bribe ya?</a> .....the new danielsjourney.com specification....goin' to take a long time to get working properly, but at least the basic design is done. shout back let me know what u think. ok, now i can go work on Rob....it's going to get interesting... 76820186daniel millerTuesday, May 21, 2002publishlet me know what you think about the new layout and my new <a href="http://danielsjourney.com">danielsjourney.com</a> server. fix yer links if you ever linked to that super long bellsouth address! (it will be a mirror until we move.) 76808998daniel millerpublish<a href="http://www.personal-space.com/start.html">PERSONAL{SPACE} v>02</a> heavy flash but worth it 76800208daniel millerpublish<a href="http://serialtext.com/display.cgi/20020517611">S E R I A L T E X T . C O M</a> 76799478daniel millerpublish<a href="http://www.humanclock.com/">humanclock.com - Main menu</a> 76780674daniel millerMonday, May 20, 2002publishtwo more for the collection, both mouth and no-mouth versions (and check me fast server now!): <hr> <img src="http://66.216.24.168/djdc_LOGO.gif"> <hr> <img src="http://66.216.24.168/djdc_LOGOO.gif"> 76759757daniel millerpublishtoday is <a href="http://miriamsjourney.blogspot.com">miriam's</a> birthday. happy birthday <a href="http://miriamsjourney.blogspot.com">miriam</a>! <blockquote>This angel, she lives on earth, and she knows who I am. She was sent down here at a young age; and a few years ago she was charged with protecting me. She can take many forms; and even to the most casual observer is an amazing and many splendored thing. Her beauty is undeniable and without compare. She was sent to keep me from myself. You see, I am dark and light; I am black and white. And the dark, black side is known to raise a sword against my light, white side. She came with a sword so bright it looks like pure energy. She blocks the blows of the dark, and she heals the wounds to the light. She is my protector. She is my healer. And she accompanies me through all my journeys�through the dark forests, fiery valleys, through the evil villages that intersect my path. A light that comes from eternity itself shines from her eyes and illuminates my way, brings light to my feet. And my love for her has grown, since the day she was sent to me, to the point now that I think if this were to continue for one more day my heart might burst. My heart is already bursting at the seams. But I know that she suffers down here. I know that this is not her home. I know she makes the best of it but that the best of it will never due. She was born of eternity and has been given to me for only a short time, on those scales. But I hope and I pray that perhaps since my life is such a short breath from within her eternity, she will remain here for the rest of my memory. Because even though she suffers, her face still radiates beauty, and her sword still shines bright in its protection of my soul. </blockquote> <center><img src="http://66.216.24.168/italy_miriam1.jpg"> venice, italy</center> 76759443daniel millerpublishi'm unemployed, but everyone still acts like i have money, and i have no time not even to <a href="http://www.olntv.com/___1574.cfm">watch</a> the <a href="http://www.gazzetta.it/speciali/giro2002/ciclismo_eng/index_eng.jhtml;jsessionid=YZ44JHZ4RVVPDQFIAIZSFEQ">Giro</a> :( 76759381daniel millerpublishthere are certain moments in life when you know you must fight this fight alone. this is one of those moments. 76746846daniel millerpublishEven the casting call was like a maze. First, it wasn�t publicized in the normal trade papers, websites, or NewsWirelesstm service. I found out about it, finally, through this ad. 76723404daniel millerSunday, May 19, 2002publish