If you walked into a room during the course of the last ten years while <a href="http://www.overtherhine.com">Over The Rhine</a> was on stage redreaming the world and hoping for a little wideness and wonder or whatever, you may have turned around and walked out or scratched your head or chuckled or stood stock still or elbowed your way closer or maybe the room was mostly empty...This recording is one way of impulsively baking a cake from scratch and throwing a little party before we remember to feign sophistication and reserve. Pull a string, there's a bang and ten years' worth of confetti metaphors fly, landing on the floor a few feet away, or in our hair.. Linford in the Amateur Shortwave Radio notes... Got two used OtR CD's at the used record store in our neighborhood last night, Amateur and 'Till We Have Faces... 79771502daniel millerSaturday, August 03, 2002publishThis story is going to have to trickle down (uneconomically) in pieces as I'm inspired. I have had an amazing week and have a lot of little stories that I think you, my ADD luvlies, would appreciate. I'll start with something recent: last night I went to this amazing open mic at <a href="http://www.drdremo.com/">Dr. Dremo's</a> in Arlington. It has been a long time since I had so much fun and felt so quickly connected to other people on a deep level--particularly (considering they were) people I didn't know prior to last night. There isn't too much more to share--how can I adequately (is that how you spell that word?) describe such experiences? Alive, overwhelmed, joyous, frustrated, sobering, drunk...all in one breath. So I'll let some links help tell the story. I have this feeling that these people/sites will have *some* role in my future, just what remains to be known. The open mic itself was run by a lovely lady named <a href="http://www.totushek.com/">Courtney</a>. She is way cool and hecka talented, too! She started her set with Under the Milky Way by the Church--a song I covered in Florida a couple months back...I think one dude in the whole bar knew that song back then...I think a few more of us knew it last night... One of her friends/collaborators is <a href="http://www.boboroshi.com/">John</a>, who runs a design firm, <a href="http://www.meticulous.com/">Meticulous</a>. You won't have to explore his online work for long to realize that he and I have a lot in common, except that I am completely put to shame by his talent and output. SO, yet more new people in my life who completely amaze and inspire and are humble yet brillant, down to earth yet dreaming, helping us all to breathe yet daring to try and take our breath away... 79747755daniel millerFriday, August 02, 2002publish...all my new locals will realize how ironic it is to have a dc story called the dialog...debate maybe...no...just kidding... update: florida peps will realize how ironic it is that the image for the dialog was taken close to downtown ft. lauderdale... ...alive, that's how it feels to be dead today...was out 'till 2 last night...more story later... 79729451daniel millerpublish<a href="http://www.wibsite.com/wibblethorpe/quote.htm">http://www.wibsite.com/wibblethorpe/quote.htm</a> 79655999daniel millerWednesday, July 31, 2002publish<a href="http://www.ftrain.com/">Ftrain.com</a> "All these people, all that noise, thrilling - not every moment, but so many moments, more than my fair share. And at the same time I am ashamed of my joy, ashamed to take such pleasure in the things I see, the Magical Lottery Number books and the satisfying complexities of computer programming, afraid during a business meeting because I want to yell out in happiness to see these other, new, creatures, find out what the man talking about Intranets is really thinking, if he's sad or happy, have him tell us how proud he is of his son and daughter, age 6 and 9, get some good dirty stories. "Such a fool, in this world of falling bombs, crashing buildings, idle poor and busy rich. But I find so much pleasure in so many places, in rusty signs and watching my friends gain or lose weight, seeing their bodies shift and transform due to internal and external pressures. I have done so many lousy things, I don't deserve any happiness. I keep it hidden, under the bed, often even from my friends, and they hide it from me, but I see it in them as well, their faces - wrinkling a bit around the eyes as we all get older - lighting up at the discovery of a gargoyle watching from a ledge over 5th Avenue, or their rapture at the spice in the sauce over their vegetables." 79636576daniel millerpublishfrom the second of <a href="http://www.ptsem.edu/iym/lectures/lectures01.htm#Beaudoin">two very important articles</a> by Beaudoin "�living in a world that appears to us daily as irreversibly ambiguous, a particular admixture of sin and grace, exploitation and generosity, getting ahead and giving up, dysfunction and desire, power and peace, depression and delight, rage and recalcitrance. Our imaginations are filled with the soft porn of movies and the sweet visage of the pope or Dalai Lama. We live with the knowledge and helpless feeling that someone somewhere may be suffering because of the way that the coffee we savor or the clothes we enjoy are produced, and we are too busy, tired, or bogged down with our own "issues" to even begin to do anything about it. We live with the suspicion that every preacher and politician and parent may well be deceiving us or themselves, and yet we live with the need to deeply trust these people. We are neither romantic nor well educated about our American past. We will give ourselves in charity but are skeptical about what gets called justice. We know that changing the system is both absolutely necessary and utterly impossible, whether it be the church or secular politics. We know that being psychologically healthy is important, and we know that an overfocus on this issue can make us self-absorbed. We want some guidelines, we want some structure, but we know that for some parts of our lives it is too late, and we don't know what to do with those parts of our lives. We don't want to be judged by others and want to refrain from judging others, yet we also wish that someone would stand up confidently and make some clear judgments about difficult issues. For the most part, we're not going to fight you about whether there is one true religion, one true sexual identity, and one true way of being family. "Who can know for sure?" and "Who am I to judge?" we ask, wanting secretly to know more surely and judge more confidently." 79595702daniel millerTuesday, July 30, 2002publish<a href="http://myvalentine.blogspot.com/">http://myvalentine.blogspot.com/</a> cul blog that mentioned me. i just stumbled upon it randomly and there i was! :) 79595235daniel millerpublishSo the thing that I got a little steamed over just because I thought a <a onclick="javascript:alert('installation');">word</a> was being used from too far within the church-as-we-know-it was actually a pretty cool thing; wish I could've experienced it. Here's a pic from the install and the text that went with it (click image for fullsize; it's already loaded): <a href="http://www.whatischurch.com/weblog/msmcworld.jpg"><img border="0" src="http://www.whatischurch.com/weblog/msmcworld.jpg" width="200" height="150" alt="The Culture of the Kingdom - Mustard Seed vs. McWorld - Courtesy of Tom Sine, www.msainfo.org"></a> <a href="http://www.msainfo.org/clopcont.asp?id=56&subject=36">text from Mustard Seed vs. McWorld</a> 79595194daniel millerpublish<a href="http://www.theexperiment.com/">TheExperiment | Home => A News Filtration Experiment</a> 79594210daniel millerpublishusing "quotes" is very "confusing" sometimes. it's "hard" to "know" "what you mean" when "every" word could "mean" something "else." 79555234daniel millerMonday, July 29, 2002publishGot this cul poem sent to me this week, in response to <a href="http://www.sevenmagazine.org/archives/2002_07_01_index.html#78683998">something I wrote</a>: by <a href="http://hometown.aol.com/kfbofpql/LEngl.html">Madeleine L'Engle</a> LOVE LETTER I hate you, God. Love, Madeleine. I wrote my message on water and at bedtime I tiptoe upstairs and let it flow under your door. When I am angry with you I know that you are there even if you do not answer my knock even when your butler opens the door an inch and flaps his thousand wings in annoyance at such untoward interruption and says the master is not at home. I love you, Madeleine, Hate, God. (This is how I treat my friends, he said to one great saint. No wonder you have so few, Lord, she replied) I cannot turn the other cheek it takes all the strength I have to keep from hitting back. the soldiers bayonet the baby the little boys traple the old woman the gutters are filled with groans while pleasure-seekers knock each other down to get their tickets stamped first. I'm turing in my ticket and my letter of introduction you're supposed to do the knocking. How can I write to you and tell you that I'm angry when I've been given the wrong address and I don't even know your right name? I take hammer and nails and tack my message on two crossed pieces of wood Dear God, is it too much to ask you to bother to be? Just show your hindquarters and let me hear you roar. Love, Madeline from The Irrational Season 79547658daniel millerpublishOh come on now boy think--what would Jesus do? He'd shake his head like an angry mother Smoke the boy and say I did what I could do but you take care of it please It's the only one you got And it'd take ten lifetimes boy to undo what I've done... As I stand here--the ground beneath is nothing more than one point of view What you got what you got in your hand? Your secret's safe with me Well I found the truth friend Let me whisper in your ear Take good care of it please It's the only one there is... <a href="http://www.dmband.com/">DMB</a> 79547221daniel millerpublishPS <a href="http://movies.yahoo.com/greekwedding/">http://movies.yahoo.com/greekwedding/</a> <img src="http://us.ent4.yimg.com/movies.yahoo.com/images/hv/photo/movie_pix/ifc_films/my_big_fat_greek_wedding/john_corbett/greek.jpg"> that bridge wasn't so flammable after all... got a response to my tirade. won't post it out of respect for someone's words, but they were good words. here's my response (quoting myself just so you know when it ends): "Hey thanks for the response. I hope you saw the entry after I struck it through yesterday. Time and Steve Collins talked some sense into me. I'm also reflecting a little bit on my knee jerk emotional reaction today...I actually just got done writing it...and just in case you read it I wasn't thinking about you all at all when I was writing it...just free association... "All to say, sorry. I'm an ass sometimes. ...So sorry. Please forgive me. "I like the picture from your installation!! I would've eaten the fries for sure if they were still warm...If you put the picture on your site give me it's URL and I'll put it on my blog, too.... "And hey, you're checking my blog, too????? HA! That's cul. I don't know if I would've puked up on it if I thought you'd find it! But this is a cul thing about the internet. Sin and redemption for all to see. "As far as the church.....yeah. I obviously hold some hope for it or I wouldn't bother with half the writing that I do. But I am definately "out" of it at this point. I'm writing from the perspective of an outsider now; just an outsider who knows exactly what it's like on the inside. That's one of my writing voices right now, and if it ever runs out or isn't needed anymore, then that will be that...." bartender please, fill my glass for me with the wine you gave Jesus that set him free after three days in the ground... 79546720daniel millerpublishOk, well, let's move that last little tirade on down the page. I don't know why I had such an immediate, emotional, and negative reaction to that whole thing; but even once a cooler head prevailed I decided to leave it up, albeit struck through, as some kind of record of that reaction. Kinda like dirty laundry. The funny thing is that while my God becomes more distant, unknowable, un-pat, shows up less frequently and under infinitely more disguises, my faith in him and my confidence in his permanent place beside me and my ability to know what's important to him, only grows. Listening to the new Dave Matthews, for example� She prays to God most every night And though she swears it doesn't listen There's still a hope in her it might She says "I pray but they fall on deaf ears, Am I supposed to take it on myself? To get out of this place?" I relate more to that person now than ever. They say that the biggest risk of true understanding is that you would be changed yourself. This is the thing most evangelicals can't do; even their name contradicts that. They are here to convince. Give me the pat answer. True influence, true change, is brought about from a place of true understanding and real relationship; something evangelicals only have with themselves. This isn't a modern world anymore. You aren't going to win any debates. Get out of my face. I need to go be real with someone who really hasn't figured it out yet. And maybe we can help each other with our respective hope. Truth? Yeah. That was just it. It flew past in the wind you were shouting over. What if God shuffled by? One day we might see Doing not a thing Breathing just to breathe We might find some reason But rushing around seems What's wrong with the world Don't lose the dreams inside your head They'll only be there 'til you're dead Dream Who are the new prophets? Who are the new priests? Matthews. Bono. And the DJ. And unlike the priests of old and the pastors of now, they do not require your penance, tithe, or respect. They are just pointers. And they know it. Throw your Bible in the trash. And start reading God again. Anyway� Saw another great indie-ish film yesterday. My Big Fat Greek Wedding. It was very funny and Miriam and I appreciated it more than most because we too have combined two very different cultures into one family, as they do in this movie. Well, more like culture and what culture? but I was a lot like the guy in the movie; ready and willing to dive into this very different scene. Besides it was the guy from Northern Exposure and he's always been a little bit of a hero to me�I'm even about to have his hair� Miriam and I were talking on our way back yesterday how it's so nice hangin' with the foreign service peps because they understand where she's from, appreciate her culture, know about international events in a deep way��we're not the leaders in all those areas, we're within peers! Pretty cool. Last night I finally got to play at an open mic, and it was a cool one! It was at Whitlow's, right down the street from our place. A new friend of mine played the "showcase" from 7-8 and I played my little 4-tune set at 8. I got talking to a lot of people there and it was a lot of fun. Even some of the cyclists from the team I went riding with on Saturday were there--one of them plays the open mics sometimes. I did have to rush home to catch the last stage of the Tour at 9, so I was a little bit of a shit for doing so; but the Tour is only on once. It ain't like baseball. Much more precious. And now that it's over I have a lot more time to get shit done! Ha ha! 79545849daniel millerpublish